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I Make Love to Travel

October 15, 2009

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***The following blog is rated ‘M’ and intended for a mature audience***

8,000 miles – a little less than three times the width of the United States – that is how far my friend and fellow Travelverse blogger, Jon Marcotte, flew yesterday to reach his most recent destination: Vietnam.  Even the most seasoned of traveler would admit that is a long voyage, and often times it is that dread of the actual travel that keeps people from seeing the world.  Flights are too long… There are too many layovers… The planning is too daunting… The hassles of getting somewhere can easily begin to stack up and this adversity can quickly diminish the joy of your trip; but, perhaps trip seekers need to heed the recently spoken words of disgruntled, haymaker throwing NBA player, Stephen Jackson – “I make love to adversity.”  Using a variation of Captain Jack’s logic, if we were to make love to our travels instead then reaching our destination would obviously be the climax, leaving the actual travel to be your foreplay… and shouldn’t foreplay be enjoyable?

Usually what makes the long flights and tedious waiting of traveling even more unbearable is the constant nagging of anxiety to get to where you’re going – or for the sake of our comparison, to reach climax – and if that’s how you find yourself feeling while standing in a security line or shuffling in your airplane seat, well, then you need to be a less greedy lover.  Like with foreplay, let the build up of your travels tease you – be patient and enjoy it because the effects of foreplay are important.  It starts during your planning process which, let’s be honest, is no different than talking dirty, while packing is a lot like getting ready for a fun night by making sure you look your best.  Then it’s time to get physical.  Driving to the airport, checking in and the ensuing long flight is nothing more but the slow stroke of a feather across your body, while more frustrating setbacks like flight delays or the constantly crying baby could be looked at as just something more intense such as bondage, S&M, hey, whatever floats your boat!

kindleFor the experienced lover, you might find yourself growing bored of the same old routine.  The pre-flight boarding procedure doesn’t tantalize you the way it used to, in which case don’t be afraid to experiment a little bit by bringing some toys into the mix.  Don’t feel ashamed – a lot of people use them – just look around the airplane cabin and you’ll see plenty of people enjoying some assisted satisfaction: books, iPods, PSP’s, laptops, all of which are your common pleasure enhancers.  You can also put a new twist on these time tested favorites.  Swap your traditional bulky book for the sleek and slim Amazon Kindle – where you can download hundreds of books to have at your fingertips – or make sure to have the newer iPod Touch that you can load with more than just music but plenty of games and movies.  Sometimes just doing a new variation on an old technique can help you regain that spark.

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Then finally, after all the build up… all the tension… all the teasing… you reach your destination, and all the encounters you faced along the way worked in the same effect that foreplay has in sex – it makes your arrival more than just relieving, but orgasmic.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Vicky permalink
    October 15, 2009 12:19 PM

    If there was award equal to an Oscar for blogging. This blog would win it. A delightful, fresh (slightly dirty) look into the most dreaded part of traveling.
    Bravo…BravOOhh.

  2. Sam Samsonite permalink
    October 15, 2009 1:41 PM

    Great analogy!! The photo gives your “lap-top” a whole new meaning. Of course, it would be too much of a cliche to think that with all the pre-boarding foreplay and in-flight toys, the seasoned traveler might even be tempted to join the “mile-high club”. Happy landings!!

    • The Captain permalink
      October 15, 2009 2:32 PM

      Samantha ……

      Call me !!!

  3. Jen permalink
    October 16, 2009 7:56 AM

    HAHA, that is a great analogy! Although I do think that you have forgotten to mention a key step in both situations…a drink to take the edge off! But beware I have found the altitude doesnt mix well with more than a couple. I really appreciate these blogs, I don’t get to travel really at all, and it is nice to read these insightful pieces through my friends eyes. Thank you!

  4. October 17, 2009 5:42 AM

    Awesome blog!

    I thought about starting my own blog too but I’m just too lazy so, I guess Ill just have to keep checking yours out.
    LOL,

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